Hi ya'll! I've been MIA for a couple of months, trying to get settled into a new city, a new house, a new job. Which means getting the Todd settled into a new city, a new house, a new routine WITH a babysitter, and days without Mommy & Grammy. It's been quite a transition and I won't say it's all been cake but we've survived.
However, I'm trying to figure out if all this "change' has brought on the terrible two's which we were on the high road that passes those days right up. Oh no...they are HERE...full force. I NOW know what those mommies mean when they say things like, "we had a wonderful day today, no tantrums, no fits for no apparent reason, no back talk, etc." I KNOW what they are talking about because these days, I take note of the days that L wakes up in a good mood, doesn't pitch a fit, kick or throw something in frustration or tell me she is gonna hit me! It's daily drama now. I kinda hate it. She totally acts like a teenager! If I'm not seething, I'm usually laughing because it's so funny that when she can't get something to do what she wants it to do...she comes over and smacks me or throws something or herself into the floor and screams at the top of her lungs. That usually results in a time out which brings on more travail. It's irritating and funny all at the same time. And let me tell you, if I laugh at her...her wrath is worse. That's usually when I get punched! And then I laugh harder. Not really...well..yeah sometimes I just can't help it. So I'm trying to do what is right and curb this behavior because it's starting to spill over in public. I REAALLLY hate that. Cause what do you do? I mean I've been that person that glared at mom's who obviously didn't have control of their kids in public and now I am becoming one of them. And it amazes me how conscious I am, now, when I say things like, "you are going to get a spanking if you don't stop." I feel like all eyes are on me if I do anything slightly aggressive to stop the behavior. When I was growing up, a slap on the behind in public or getting jerked up by one arm and scolded in the grocery store...was NOTHING. Nobody batted an eye. In fact, I think most people thought, "good for that mom/dad...that kid needed that!" Today...you get the evil eye if you so much as lay a finger on your kid in public. It's frustrating! I spank! I believe in spanking! I'm a believer in the Word of God and God says to spare NOT the rod when it comes to punishing your kids, because if you do, they will suffer for it!" (my paraphrase :) I believe a spanking humbles a child and brings them back to a right spirit. A spirit that can be dealt with. So, how do you handle that in today's world? No...really..I'm asking, how do YOU(moms) handle it?
And let me tell you, not that it matters what you THINK, but just so you know. At this age, L is learning. I accept that but I also feel like that learning process must be laced with discipline. I feel like she should be punished for things she does no better about but chooses to do any way(a lot of that going on these days) but I also believe teaching is paramount. And I am trying to balance how much should be instruction and how much should just be punishment. I admit I sometimes react hastily and have to remember that she is only 2 and needs to be instructed. I'm not above apologizing to her for overreacting either. I firmly believe children need to hear "will you forgive me" and "I"m sorry..I was wrong" PLENTY in their lives...and starting now. I also recognize that spanking is NEVER the answer 100% of the time and I don't practice that because honestly time out is VERY effective for my little one. I'm sure that spanking, sans the 3" padding, will become more affective.
So weigh in moms. Tell me how you discipline in public because I did utter the phrase, "I'm just gonna quit leaving the house with her" after this weekend's outings.
Oh and now, "OH MY CRAP" is the favored phrase of choice in our household. No idea where she picked that up...and I'm totally serious...because OKAY...she has heard the word CRAP but OH MY...no!! She picked that up somewhere else!
Happy Monday!
Love,
L
3 years ago
Hey Lana! It's Amber, your cousin from the Tucker side, even though we haven't met yet other than on FB! hehe Anywho, I just now read this post and I will tell you, I know exactly what you are going through, but I've learned that 3 is often worse than 2. At 2, they don't yet have the vocabulary to fully express their feelings, so that's where the hitting and meltdowns come in. At 3, they are learning more words and that can sometimes be harder! My middle girl is 4 and she's got a mouth on her! Lately she says "you don't talk to me that way!" if we tell her to do something..or she'll say "if you say that again I'm going to hit you" if we tell her no. It's actually really funny if you see this in person because her face is hilarious when she's so serious and mad. But, this behavior is not tolerable and I give her a warning and if she continues to be naughty, then into the corner with her nose she goes! I do believe in spanking as well, but I reserve it for very serious things so that way when it happens, they know i mean business.
ReplyDeletePublic is a little more tricky because there is no corner...and if you even THINK the word spanking, you are afraid someone will turn you in! When my girls were Lailey's age and acting out in public, it took no more than 2 times with both of them (Cammy isn't old enough for this yet, but it will happen), to take them in to the bathroom and make them stand there until they decided to act better. Once in the bathroom I got down to their level and very sternly told them that they had better straighten it up or we would get in the car and go home for a spanking and that meant no toy or treat (if they were getting something). I remember when my middle girl started throwing a fit and I did that, we were in there for like 10 minutes before she finally stopped crying and I've never had to take her in there again. I've had to threaten it and she knows it won't be fun, so she stops whatever she's doing.
I feel like the key is getting down in their face, MAKING them look and listen to you and talking slowly and sternly. Let her know that you mean business and that you WILL leave if you need to and that she will not get a special something as a reward for bad behavior.
Now, for the hitting, we've got this problem with our older girls even now sometimes. I will either put them straight into the corner with their nose in it, or, I'll actually pop them back and ask them if they liked how that felt. Usually that stops it right away.
I know poor Lailey is in the hospital sick and her poor mom is probably beyond exhausted and I hope that when you read this, all is well on your end!
Amber