June 17, 2010

God is Good, God is Great...and Pass the Meow Mix Salad

I am looking forward to the day L realizes that SHE doesn't want or need to stand at my knees when I'm going potty.  I'm sure it has something to do with the whole separation anxiety thing and she just can't leave my side for 2 seconds but I feel bad for her...especially if it's a..you know..number 2.  I have that feeling like...she's witnessing something vial and wrong.  And she usually comes and gives me a sweet little kiss on my knee and it does help me feel a little better knowing that she is kind of cheering me on. 'Go Mom! Push it out, push it out...waaaay out!' 

This will be one of those things that I'll tell at her 13th birthday party and then she won't speak to me for a week. Because let's face it...I'll be like 52 and I'll be getting to that age where I don't see anything wrong with telling stories like that to her friends.  :(

So on a much more interesting note...we ventured to a "church" supper tonight.  Our neighbors have been asking us the last few months and we always have a huge gala to attend instead(Dora the Explorer WAS going to some kind of ball or something that one time) so both neighbors came over today to ask us to go and feeling kind of bad, me, mom, and L went.  They said I didn't need to bring anything but I hate to attend something like that and NOT bring something..it's potluck and that's what you're supposed to do.  So I brought a roasted corn and tomato salad and boy am I glad I did!  Mom and I had corn and tomato salad for dinner, well and the big mac we stopped and got on the way home! All I can say is....ICK! First, a gentleman with wild hair and no shoes, SMOKING A CIG, was the greeter just outside the door into the building.

The church itself is very tiny, one room, in fact.  The kitchen/dining area also doubles as a nursery, ladies and men's sunday school classrooms, pastor's office and church secretary's office. Oh and the apparent storage facility for the church secretary's collection of cookie jars.  Oh how I wish I would photographed that!  There were 4 long tables set up and two of them were 3/4 of the way covered with the jars.  Everything from noah's ark to frosty the snowman cookie jars.  I asked my mom what the H that was all about and she rolled her eyes and said she wasn't sure but something about the lady not having enough room at her house for them.  OKAY!

So L thought she'd died and went to heaven because there were 5 little kids there.  The pastor has like 11 foster kids and a horse that lives on the church property.  He is a part time pastor and works 2 jobs while his wife slings hash at the county jail.  The children were apparently mute because not a one of them spoke.  L just kind of looked at them then growled (she's into growling) and that clearly meant she was too sharp to put up with that no talking nonsense and she moved on.  The cookie jar thing...sent her nearly into a tail spin...literally...of complete glee.  Which I spent the rest of my time there following her and telling her "No! Don't touch!" {insert huge sigh}  I kind of was grateful for that diversion because had I been forced to sit down and ACT like I was eating and...sit across from the no shoes, cig smoking greeter...I might have had to fake my own death.

They had these HUGE, oval, serving platters for plates which I didn't understand.  I guess they thought we were all going to eat HUGE helpings of this...food.  Everyone's plate looked like they had fixed it for a toddler.  I mean I was not the only one scared to eat it.  This is what was on the buffet line.  Chicken and dressing that I swear had not been cooked.  Chicken and rice casserole, again..not cooked.  Chicken mexican casserole, some type of spaghetti casserole, the proverbial green bean casserole, another spaghetti noodle er...casserole, weenies and cabbage casserole(i just threw up a little), a green salad(of course), a huge bowl of gigantic banana peppers and jalapeno peppers. And can I add here, no one but all those kids got the peppers which quickly turned into a fight over who could eat a whole one and resulted in all of them getting in trouble.  So there was my corn salad, a green pea salad and about 16 different desserts...all store bought mind you.  Mmmmm....

You know when you go somewhere and you don't really care for the food, you manage..you know? You get through it.  You eat it and tell yourself, 'never again', but you carry on.  Okay...mom and I neither one could EAT our toddler plates full.  And just FORGET about the toddler eating a bite of it.  It reminded me of the jello salad with meow mix that Aunt Clara brought on Christmas Vacation.  It grossed me out...it HAD meow mix...in every dish...I just know it.  I stopped almost immediately trying to pull L away from her match box cars and kermit the frog to eat.  She wouldn't even eat the store bought birthday cake that someone had brought for Hershel's 79th birthday BASH.  We sang Happy Birthday to him and someone was singing so good and so loud but to the tune of She'll Be Coming Around the Mountain. 

Oh and L had the biggest poopy diaper (totally OFF schedule and no diaper or wipes with me) and completely smelled up the whole dining area...no one could tell!  I like to believe that was divine intervention because, of course, we HAD to leave immediately.  WHEW!

1 comment:

  1. Lana, LOVING the blog! and by the way, I have TOTALLY been to that church potlock. I just know it! Fortunately, the last church potluck I went to was in Burnwell Alabama and most of the food was made by my cousins who can EVERMORE cook.

    Sometime I need to hear more about that meow mix jello salad...